Why Helping others is not always a good idea.

I know those dark times when you are in unimaginable difficulties and you need a hero to come and save you. Problems appear like from nowhere and you find yourself in a lot of trouble, you try to think your way through your troubles but you don’t find any solution aside from asking help from someone wealthier than you.

I also know how it feels to have a lot and not to have any problems. You can’t even think about what to do with all the money you have and when that random friend calls you out for help, you feel the satisfaction of saving a friend from a difficult moment with hopes that he’d do the same for you when the time comes.

I am here to tell you that, it’s not a good idea. Money strains relationships and often for the worse. The moment money because a factor in your relationship with a friend then there is the chance things might go very negatively, especially when there is a very wide gap of wealth difference between you. It is often said that true friendship shouldn’t be out of interest but

sometimes even for the right reasons we make the wrong choices.

I have come to understand that when people have money troubles it is mostly a problem at the mental level; we tend to choose the emotional options rather than the logical ones. You can’t let yourself be dragged down by the bad choices another person made and if your friendship to this person was reliant on you helping him all the time then I believe this wasn’t a healthy relationship.

I have had the experience of helping a lot of people throughout my life and without even exaggerating, the moments when I was in need of help (even if it wasn’t financial) I discovered that none of them were there for me, rather people I didn’t even think about came to my rescue. It might be hard to grasp through my words and you might have a different experience but this happens more often than you might think. A person with whom I had shared a lifelong friendship and countless experiences didn’t hesitate to turn his back on me with it became a choice of helping me or helping himself. We sometimes like the idea of dying for somebody else but when push comes to shove, human nature takes over. I can’t express the sadness of that betrayal with words.

As a general rule, people don’t appreciate handouts. You might think you like when people give you free money or when things are easy but you never really appreciate the true value of a handout. When people work to earn what they have, they make better use of it and don’t waste a single drop of it, but when they receive free help from other persons, they tend to take it for granted easily. You can help your friend from a difficult problem today, and he will be right back at your doorstep the next day like what you did last time was just child’s play and before you realize it, he will be reliant on you to save him from his troubles, the day you don’t, it will affect your relationship. The moment money becomes a part of your relationship, the other person does everything to please you and ignores you when you don’t help him, all emotions and actions are biased. Money has a great amount of power even without it doing anything, be careful.

We spend so much time looking for money and success to the point where we forget to build other skills such as; conversation, empathy, humor, self-control etc. Everything we have to offer to the world in the end is just our money and that’s what we tend to be known for. Could you give me a character trait of Bill Gates which is unrelated to his money? — I guess not

My advice is that in your relationships, focus on what you can offer other than money. If you are wealthy then it means you can give the other person great advice on how to deal with problems and how to generate wealth, an easy road might seem enticing but it has devastating effects on the long run. Relationships should be built on common emotions, experiences and memories and henceforth be aware of the infectious nature of money

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